not long after an old chinese woman came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the states, she went to a city bank to deposit the us dollars her daughter gave her. at the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. it made the old lady out of patience.
at last she could not hold any more, uttering. "trust me, sir, and trust the money. they are real us dollars. they are directly from america."
A man carves an idol and takes it to the fair. No one buys it, so he begins to shout in order to canvass the customer. 有人雕刻了一个赫尔墨斯的木像，拿到市场上去卖。因为没有一个买主上前 He says that this idol can bring in wealth and good luck. One man says to the seller, “Hello, My friend, if this is so, you should have the advantages that the idol can bring, why do you want to sell it?” The seller says, “What I want is that I can get cash in at once. The profit from the idol is so slow. 他便大声叫喊，想招揽生意，说有赐福招财的神出售。这时旁边有一个人对他说道：“喂，朋友，既然这样，你自己应该享受他的好处哇，为什么还要卖掉他呢?” 他回答说：“我要的是现在马上可以兑现的利益，这个神的利益却来得很慢哪。” This story means: God will never respect people who make a profit by hook or crook. 这故事正是说那种不择手段地求利，连神也不尊敬的人。
A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
一个人带着他的狗去了酒吧，他径直走向吧台，要了一杯酒。
The bartender says You can't bring that dog in here! The guy, without missing a beat, says This is my seeing-eye dog.
招待说：“你不能带狗进来!”这个人毫不犹豫地说，“这是我的导盲犬”
Oh man, the bartender says, I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me. The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
“天呐，”招待说，“抱歉了，第一杯算我的。”这个人喝了他的酒，去门边的桌子那坐下了。
Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog.
另外一个人带着一只吉娃娃走进酒吧。第一个人看见了他，把他拦下，说“你不能把狗带进来，除非你跟他们说这是一只导盲犬。”
The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!
第二个人谢过了第一个人，走向吧台。他要一杯饮料。招待说：“嗨，你不能把那只狗带进来!”
The second man replies This is my seeing-eye dog. The bartender says, No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs.
第二个人回答道“这是我的导盲犬。”招待说，“不，我不这么认为。从来没有吉娃娃做导盲犬的。”
The man pauses for a half-second and replies What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?
这个人停顿了一会，回答道“什么?!他们给了我一只吉娃娃?!”
